Just Getting Back To Life....?

The awkward moment you see it starts going pete tong again……. I dont get why its bugging me so much I been doing so wel, I cant deal with being stuck in a hotel room with a couple…… think its worse than going with parents least, parents wont shag next to you….. eurgh!!! AWKWARD!!! you know when you can see where this is all going, awkward texts to each other when your present….. ahhhh man…. I need a plan!!!Couldnt think of anything worse, i do my best to avoid thee 3 wheel situations at the best of times here let alone pay to £540 for the pivilage and be in a different country all together, could just stay wankered the whole time, then i wont realise and likely wont make it back to the room!!! errrm thats my plan…. i think!! needs to bee properly perfected but its managable!! and if all else fails just do a bunk when it gets awkward and find gooch!!Awww man i was so looking forward to it. Scared to say how i feel aswell incase it gets blown up :/

I think when we got to this level of friendship talking all day everyday you completely deterred my mind from an absolute knob head, then as i got to know you properly i stared liking you, more than I should have and I have hidden it for weeks now cus I know how against feelings you are and i was so scared to even hint it, then you vented to me about Lisa and I went funny I couldnt hely it it was a natural reaction though in my stomache I could kind of see it coming, theres only so much I can hear before it starts hurting a bit. Im trying to keep level headed but its tough, especially when i had you messaging me about Lisa, Lisa messaging about you and then im like WOW….. AWKWARD. See where this is going.

But its ok, Im always good ya know!

1 year…. since I received that sorry excuse of an email. 365 days now passed.

And I can honestly say I thought about you at least once, every single one of those days.

Sorry it had to turn out this way, if you were going to cut me out of your life I at least wanted you to have a valid reason to. Now I have given you one.

Everything was a lie. Truly gutted by that, beyond words By that revelation but its just your true colours, I don’t recognise you any more your not the girl I fell in love with shes dead, she died a long time ago.

Now I’m going to move on with my life and start a new chapter.

Bye.